Who am I?

For a number of reasons this has been the best and worse weekend of my life. We're now on Wednesday and it's still very much the best and worse.
No detail but I've been sorting out stuff that reaches back a few years, stuff that has been incredibly painful to deal with and stuff that has hurt other people.
I'm reading the Irresistible Rovolution at the moment. It's an OK book. I'm not as taken on it as I thought, but the vision and challenge behind the words and story of the Simple Way can't be ignored.
Last night during our church house-goup's 'Agape' meal we asked what attracts God's blessing.
After listing a load of stuff that God has led us into as a church such as community, covenant and celibacy I realised that these things, although important can just become dead monuments if we don't live dangerously within them. So we listed a bunch of things that could lead us to 'life on the edge'.
But that (for me) missed the point as well. This weekend I have been dangerous. I've dug about in the past and dealt with things that have caused a lot of pain. It would have been so much easier to let things lie.
This morning I felt pretty crap again and I said to my 8 year old daughter, " What do you think God would say if he was here now? I think he'd tell you that he loves you, even more than I do and he wants you to trust him".
"Yeh", she said and went back to her porridge and syrup.
"Is the porridge good?"
"Yeh."
I made my son toast and my wife tea. They both said it was good.
I sat at the table for a while on my own and tried to hear God.
"You know" He said, You made porridge and toast and tea good for your dearest ones. Well, I'll make things good for you. I love you. Don't worry. "