Tell me what I really really want (and it's not a Zigga-zagga)
I often rant about how easy it is to talk about what you supposedly believe as a Christian but putting it into practice is a wee bit different.
What about what we really want? "I want a deeper relationship with God" or I want to be on Fire" or whatever - they are the right things for a Christian to want and i guess a lot of christians would say that kind of thing at sometime in their life. But do you really?
Y'see, at the moment I'm a bit screwed up. 20 years ago I was baptised and i gave litterally everything up to join the church I belong to now. Now, two decades on my commitment isn't what it was. An the guy a church the other sunday said "Do the things you did at first!"
Giving everything up 20 years ago was easy. I didn't have anything, i was homeless and on the run from the police. Sure, i'll give that up. this kingdom life thing looks a load better that what I'm doing.
Shallow?
Maybe, but it's the truth. It's not that I didn't beleive but truth be known, there wasn't that much solidity behind the radial choices I was making.
Now I have things, stuff and a lot of junk. Things I need to give up if I really want the first love for God that I only touched on 20 years ago.
I cleared out a load of music - CD's and Tapes that i had that really are worldly junk. They're sitting at home in 6 carrier bags now, over 300 CD's and tapes. If I don't shift them soon they'll end up back on the shelf.
How much do I want the kingdom? Enough to let a few chunks of flesh life be cut away?
What about what we really want? "I want a deeper relationship with God" or I want to be on Fire" or whatever - they are the right things for a Christian to want and i guess a lot of christians would say that kind of thing at sometime in their life. But do you really?
Y'see, at the moment I'm a bit screwed up. 20 years ago I was baptised and i gave litterally everything up to join the church I belong to now. Now, two decades on my commitment isn't what it was. An the guy a church the other sunday said "Do the things you did at first!"
Giving everything up 20 years ago was easy. I didn't have anything, i was homeless and on the run from the police. Sure, i'll give that up. this kingdom life thing looks a load better that what I'm doing.
Shallow?
Maybe, but it's the truth. It's not that I didn't beleive but truth be known, there wasn't that much solidity behind the radial choices I was making.
Now I have things, stuff and a lot of junk. Things I need to give up if I really want the first love for God that I only touched on 20 years ago.
I cleared out a load of music - CD's and Tapes that i had that really are worldly junk. They're sitting at home in 6 carrier bags now, over 300 CD's and tapes. If I don't shift them soon they'll end up back on the shelf.
How much do I want the kingdom? Enough to let a few chunks of flesh life be cut away?
posted by Unknown at 3:44 AM
1 Comments:
I wonder - what if what you want to get isn't what God wants to give? Or, what if what you're doing is giving up stuff to try and persuade God to give you what you think you want?
Maybe the question shouldn't be, 'what do I want?' But, 'what does God want me to have?'
Then, when you've found the answer to that, the question of stuff may seem more to do with living space than a dynamic relationship with the living God!
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