New Songs...

Well, I have some new songs. - all about the things I'm going through at the moment. One's called Holding On and it's about NOT holding on. What happens when you ket go of things that you always trusted in.
We were asked at work the other day what our fears are and how we overcome them. I have a fear of being married with two kids in a semi in suburbia for the rest of my life. Doing nothing. How doi I get over it. I guess I spend my life kicking against the status quo.
As I've said I'm a Christian but at the moment I'm testing that to the limit. It's so easy to go along with what you're supposed to do. I don't want to intentionally do the wrong thing but I want to know that what i believe is right.
I was talking to Jean the other day and I realised that my relationship with God is hot and cold like a friend that you sometime hang out with for ages and othertimes to forget about. Jean doesn't see god so much as her friend but as father/lord/big guy type of thing. I need some of that but I can't conjour it up.